Have a wash
Don't these hippies EVER get bored of protesting? First they moan about some new road wiping out an indigenous population of maggots, then they get all upset about scientists rubbing shampoo in the eyes of bunny rabbits...
Listen hippy, this new bypass is going to cut 10 minutes off my daily commute, and for that, I'd shoot every last tiger in existence, never mind some smelly maggot. Furthermore, everyone knows animal testing is just an amusing pastime for scientists, but you hippies don't seem to have a sense of humour. Well, my amusing pastime is testing noxious chemicals on unwashed, pretentious, sanctimonious cunts. Come here you hippy fuck, and let me pour bleach down your throat. Does it hurt? Yes, I thought it would.
If it's not animals, then they're all marching around town wearing T-shirts emblazoned with "Fuck Tesco". Which is kind of ironic when I see them at the "10 items or less" checkout, clutching a wad of "3 for 2" ready meals. If you're so bothered about Tesco and its dominance of the marketplace, why don't YOU start a better supermarket of your own? Oh that's right, because it would be shit, just like your general attitude to life.
And NOW it's the war in Iraq. Again. AGAIN! Come on hippies, everyone is getting bored of this crap now. I don't care how many spam e-mails I get from Tony Benn and the "Stop the War Coalition", I couldn't give a shit. I only signed up so I could get some posters.
How many times do I have to tell you hippies? Tony Blair knows best. Leave it to him - after all, he has God on his side. The Christian God. To all you Muslims out there, I was actually speaking to the prophet Muhammed last night through my Ouija board, and he admitted that all that stuff in the Qu'ran about "death to the infidels!" was just meant to be ironic... And those virgins? Well there's a reason why they're all still virgins - they are fucking pig ugly.
I bet you feel a bit silly now...
***************************************************************************
Do you find yourself disquieted by the sentiments of this post? Then please read: The story of the blog
Approximate percentage that this blog corresponds to reality = 36%
posted by The Capgras Delusion at 10:07 PM
7 Comments:
Hippies.They're everywhere. They wanna save the earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad.
Oo you've come over all mean.
I'm not that odd am I?
p.s You can't say "chick". It leads to "dude". You fucking hippy.
Well thats told them young man!
Better stuff a bacon sarnie down their throats to ram the poínt home :)
How tall did you think I was going to be? Your blogroll gives the impression that you were expecting some midget draped in the flag of St George... did you think I was Wayne Rooney?
Oh dear, it seems I am now even offending my regular readers...
Boudica - I should have perhaps written "curious" instead of "odd". I meant "odd" in an interesting "I know who cedric sneer is" kind of a way, rather than "odd" in a "I lick other people's faces by way of greeting" kind of a way. In any case, you shall become merely "strangely captivating". How's that?
And yeah, sorry about the lapse into hippy lingo - I had a wash and I'm feeling much better now.
Max - I knew you were a rower, and you often post about scottish things, so I guess I should have expected a hulking great scotsman.
What can I say? I guess my default setting is Wayne Rooney. It's actually quite disturbing when I go on a blind date with a girl and I expect HER to look like a fat leprechaun... Does that make me strange?
Haddock - I hope YOU weren't offended by the comment about your daughter that I left on your blog. I just don't want her to end up like me: smoking pot at four, dropping acid by seven, using a crackpipe by nine and in rehab by eleven...
Smoke more weed. Lead happier life. No?
No offense taken. She'll probably smoke dope anyway when she's older, but hopefully miss out the acid....it fucked my head up from time to time :)
Post a Comment
<< Home